


Cooking By The Book (But Not Really)

by Aequoria, fuzzykitty01, NoticedKohai, PomPomPrompto



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Baby Noctis, Drabble, Everything is a mess, Ficlet Collection, ignis is really trying here, someone please help these boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 13:58:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12727908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aequoria/pseuds/Aequoria, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzykitty01/pseuds/fuzzykitty01, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoticedKohai/pseuds/NoticedKohai, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PomPomPrompto/pseuds/PomPomPrompto
Summary: A series of ficlets where Ignis teaches himself how to cook, Noctis tries to help, and Gladio is really only interested in teasing them.





	Cooking By The Book (But Not Really)

Truly, Ignis hadn't the faintest clue where he had gone wrong.

The dish was called _grilled cheese_ , so it only made sense that he would cook the cheese before toasting the bread. Yet there he was, kneeling on a chair he'd dragged from the dining room, frowning at _another_ slice of cheese that had been reduced to a bubbling mass of yellow goo the instant it had been dropped into the frying pan.

The first time this happened, Ignis thought nothing of it; he merely scooped it up and spooned it onto the toast. But, to his chagrin, it did little more than sink into the toast, which had decided that it was now a sponge.

Of course, that was hardly something he could serve to His Highness, so he chucked it and started anew.

The second time, the pan had become much too hot and the entire slice of cheese wound up searing to the surface.

The third time, once Ignis finished scrubbing the brownish-orange filth into the sink, he attempted to lay down a piece of wax paper in hopes that it would (for some reason) hold its shape. It was only when the paper _caught fire_ that Ignis realized, with growing horror, that wax paper was _not_ the same as parchment paper and should never _ever **ever**_ be used as a substitute.

Now on his fourth attempt, the pan tossed into the sink in favor of pulling a fresh one from the cupboard (because Ignis honestly had no idea how to clean that unsightly mess) and every window in the room wide open, Ignis glowered at the last piece of cheese left in the fridge.

Truth be told, he could very easily ask one of the nannies for their assistance, but Ignis's pride was already far too wounded for him to admit that he didn't know how to make something as mediocre as Noctis's favorite sandwich. So, there he was, chin quivering, trying to wrack his six-year-old brain for some kind of explanation.

This was called _grilled cheese!_

Why wasn't this _working?!_

"Iggy?"

Padding into the kitchen, wearing nothing but his cactuar-print undies, Noctis rubbed his eye with a tiny fist and scrunched his face up at the lingering smell of melted wax and burnt cheese.

"What'cha doing?"

Frustration had already been mounting but seeing Noctis already awake from his nap, when Ignis had been hoping to have his lunch prepared by then, was sending him careening towards the edge. His eyes, stinging with unshed tears, bounced back and forth between evidence of his failed attempts, and a hungry and curious Noctis. "I..."

Oblivious to his plight, the toddler shuffled forward and stood on his tiptoes to peer over the edge of the counter. When he caught sight of the ingredients Ignis had laid out - cheese, bread, and butter - his entire visage lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Grilled cheese!" he exclaimed, bouncing on his heels and turning his face back towards his friends, "You're making grilled cheese!"

Ignis pushed his fingers under his glasses to wipe at his eyes. Right! He was making the Prince his lunch, not crying like some stupid baby.

"Can I help?" Noctis offered, his eyes practically dancing.

With renewed vigor, Ignis nodded and went to retrieve a second chair for Noctis to stand on. When he returned, he was already on the first chair and turning the toaster on its side.

"Noct, what are you doing?"

"I saw Gladdy do this!" Noctis was clearly pleased with himself as he waved his hands excitedly.

Intrigued, Ignis scooted the chair closer to the counter and kneeled on it like earlier. He helped Noctis with the bag of bread, lest he resort to tearing the package open to bypass the twist-tie, and watched with undivided attention as Noctis pressed the last slice of cheese between two pieces of bread before inserting it into the toaster.

"That is genius!" he breathed, completely in awe. Gladiolus truly was a culinary mastermind! A great innovator of his time! Destined for greatness -!

The toaster popped, and two things happened.

First, the grilled cheese sandwich went flying across the kitchen with a force that a toaster really shouldn't be capable of. It bounced off of the island, stuck to the adjacent cupboard, and then peeled apart to fall to the ground - cheese side down, of course - with a wet slap.

Second, Noctis attempted to catch the sandwich. His little hands, still uncoordinated and awkward, flailed and slipped around and somehow caught the back of the toaster and knocked it to the floor, where it smashed into the marbled flooring. Instantly, it shattered. It broke into six pieces, and a million crumbs exploded out of the appliance and scattered across every inch of visible floor.

Silence filled the air between them as they gaped at the destruction.

_"What was that?!"_

Noctis nearly jumped right out of his skin, eyes wide as saucers with panic. "Ahh! The nanny!" He glanced at the smattering of cheese in front of the sink and back to Ignis. "Iggy, what're we gonna do?!"

With those terrified, unblinking eyes fixed on him imploringly, and that tiny mouth pinched as he waited for a plan, Ignis couldn't help himself.

He hopped off of the chair, pushing it aside, and grabbed Noctis by his bare waist to set him on the floor.

"Go to your room and pretend to be asleep!" he instructed with all of the sternness a child could muster.

Noctis shook his head, his hair bouncing around his already tear-stained face. "What about you!?"

Ignis turned him around by the shoulders and pushed him towards the living room. "Go!"

It looked as if the Prince was going to argue further, but the sound of Nanny Marita's heels clacking down the hallway must have put the fear of Bahamut in him because he bolted, his feet slapping against the floor as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him.

Ignis quickly carried the second chair back to the dining room to hide the evidence of an accomplice. He would likely get a spanking for turning King Regis's personal kitchen into a disaster zone, but something told him this wouldn't be the last time he got into trouble because of Noctis.

**Author's Note:**

> I was a really small kid so I don't know if all six year olds need to stand on chairs to be able to see everything, but I feel like Iggy would rather be safe than sorry :)


End file.
